Apr. 1st, 2007

gosling: (Default)
I think the biggest obstacle is going to be convincing him that there are kids besides his friend M. who can teach him.

He really does seem to feel it needs to be a nursing toddler who can somehow convey to him what he sees as this mysterious skill. He doesn't seem to see it as something a mother and child do together but as a skill that some toddlers have but he doesn't. (That aspect may be easy enough to work with, so long as I have nursing moms with toddlers to help me, and I think I will.)

Or maybe he sees it as a skill that M., and only M., has? (That will be more difficult.)

I'm not sure if it is that or that he *trusts* her and her competence and kindness and is not so sure about anyone else for something that feels both so important and so overwhelmingly difficult to him. (I feel rather that way myself about it being important and difficult; I just have a wider range of people whose competence I trust. Kids pick up on parents' emotions and rapidly come believe them, so *I* need to be more confident too. I suspect he did get his initial affect around this from me, although by this point I have no doubt that his feelings on this are very much his own.)

Overcoming his sense that it's this really difficult thing *he* can't do and is pretty afraid to try for fear of failure is also going to be major I suspect. The least difficulty is probably going to overwhelm him with frustration, because it really seems like he believes he will fail, even though at this point I know it is something he really wants to learn.

Somehow I know exactly where he got that personality trait. These very fears in me were the biggest obstacle to begin with perhaps.

Everyone concerned will need to be very gentle and patient with him, and he is likely to need *a lot* of reassurance when he doesn't get it right the first time he tries.
gosling: (Default)
I do have a call in to a woman from La Leche League. I know there have been kids adopted at Benjamin's age who have learned to nurse, so clearly it is possible and there is presumably some body of knowledge about this.

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