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Nov. 15th, 2005 08:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goslingAs someone wise once said, we need to decide if we want to be a community or a mobile party. Of course, different people will have different definitions of community and want different things.
Almost all villages have spaces which are adult-only, and often many spaces in which the expectation of children's behavior varies according to the place and the activities going on. It may be fine to go tearing wildly around an open meadow, but completely unacceptable in a small gathering space. Do not disrupt quiet or solemn ritual, but by all means ask questions later on. Children are generally expected to be part of the life and work of the community to the best of their ability (which is obviously going to vary according to the developmental stage.)
Trite as it can be, I find the village model useful. I want my child to grow up in within my community, my village. It matters immensely to me, and I expect that it does to other parents too. I want the children of my community around me. I also know that others may not, or may sometimes not. I don't expect my child to be welcome everywhere, and I expect him to behave appropriately where he is. I don't take him places where I feel that behaving appropriately for that setting is an unreasonable expectation. (I may guess wrong, but everyone makes mistakes. I tend to err on the side of assuming he is not welcome, but I also ask people if their invitation was ambiguous.)
Almost all villages have spaces which are adult-only, and often many spaces in which the expectation of children's behavior varies according to the place and the activities going on. It may be fine to go tearing wildly around an open meadow, but completely unacceptable in a small gathering space. Do not disrupt quiet or solemn ritual, but by all means ask questions later on. Children are generally expected to be part of the life and work of the community to the best of their ability (which is obviously going to vary according to the developmental stage.)
Trite as it can be, I find the village model useful. I want my child to grow up in within my community, my village. It matters immensely to me, and I expect that it does to other parents too. I want the children of my community around me. I also know that others may not, or may sometimes not. I don't expect my child to be welcome everywhere, and I expect him to behave appropriately where he is. I don't take him places where I feel that behaving appropriately for that setting is an unreasonable expectation. (I may guess wrong, but everyone makes mistakes. I tend to err on the side of assuming he is not welcome, but I also ask people if their invitation was ambiguous.)
