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yesallwomen

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More and more in the last few days I am in this place of complete feminist rage. And I am so so so tired of the attitude that says if I am furious about all the dangers and obstacles and general horribleness that women face every bloody day that that means I somehow must hate men.

I have a husband, a boyfriend and many many male friends whom I utterly trust and who are completely made of awesome. I have two sons who are the center of my universe. I have dedicated my career to caring for kids of all genders, and I care immensely about the well being of all of them.

Which is a part of *why* I am so furious at all the misogyny and general crushing of lives and emotions and freedom I see everywhere. I want a better world for those kids, and I want a better world for all of us who were once exactly like those kids. I want the whole world to be free of the damage the patriarchy does to us all.

#yesallwomen

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And I am so so so tired of the attitude that says if I am furious about all the dangers and obstacles and general horribleness that women face every bloody day that that means I somehow must hate men.

OMG so with you. I don't hate men. I want men, collectively, to be better because I like and love them, and because I refuse to succumb to the soft bigotry of low expectations of them.

WORD. SO MUCH WORD.

I want to say that your political goals seem quite reasonable to me but I'm not convinced that your attitude is the most productive one. But in this context, trying to explain that might seem to be inflammatory, so I posted it elsewhere (http://achinhibitor.livejournal.com/322518.html). YMMV.

Anger is a useful emotion, I have learned. It shows us when something is wrong and gives us the energy to try to change things. Anyone who is not angry at the pervasive misogyny that pervades this culture is simply not paying attention.

Those who reduce this "hating men" are reacting defensively and, more problematically, in a reductionist paradigm. They are not looking at the actual issue, but by over simplifying and making it the victim's problem, they exonerate themselves.

A man who accuses a woman who is angry at the oppression she deals with constantly is not a friend or an ally, he is part of the problem and he needs to learn better.

This article puts it well, and nicely:
http://stealingcommas.blogspot.it/2013/06/how-not-to-be-privileged-ass-lazy.html

This one is more to the point and far less nice, but essentially says the same things:
http://decolonizeallthethings.wordpress.com/2014/03/03/how-to-be-an-ally-not-an-asshole/

I think both apply in this case.

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